German tourists

Uncyclopedia about German tourists : The Germans enjoy holidaying abroad, preferably in large heavily armed 10,000 man tours. Their preferred mode of transport is by tank, called in German a Panzer, although a select group choose to travel by aircraft, which they jump out of at their desired location.Popular German vacation destinations include Holland, Poland, Croatia, France, Belgium, Denmark, Norway, Yugoslavia, Greece, Russia and literally most of the countries in Europe except Britain (because of home-style cooking) - which has been unreachable to the Germans due to being an island (Germany has never been much of a seafaring nation despite some attempts prior to WWI) - and Switzerland (which is German anyway). Germans just love the sea. It is something very different from the dull and boring grounds of Germany. They mostly spend their time digging huge holes in the beach and filling them with heavy artillery, machine guns and barbed wire (”Mein Keul!”). While spending their time on the beach, they heartily welcome their old friends, the British, with showers of bullets. When the British get too numerous, the Germans decide it’s a better idea to stay in Goodolddeutschland, and then realize that Russia had the same idea, which is understandable if you consider the circumstances of living in Russia, especially under Tovarish Stalin. A German holiday invasion can be spotted by large quantities of unattended towels around the pool.

Another popular destination for the German is Spain. In fact, so many Germans go there that most people wanting to visit Germany will find it more beneficial to just visit Spain instead. You won’t have to deal with German weather or recycling laws, while still being able to see Germans cordon off any unclaimed territory, walk their dogs (“Sitz, Rolf, sitz!”) and get drunk through all hours in the morning. While in Spain, German money, earned as unemployment benefit, often goes to support civil war and socialist principles.

You will sometimes see Germans in France, but this is unlikely to be their final destination. Normally, they are simply en route to Spain. All of Germany went on holiday to France in 1871, 1914 and again in 1939. They’re tired of it now.